Semaine 33.2 - Newbie in Hell

5 minutes de lecture

Lady Smith whistled and, like an obedient doggie, an elevator instantly materialized in front of them, scaring some new deads. Nathan was fascinated. So many odd things to discover!

They squeezed themselves in the cabin. The doors closed with a creaky noise, which wasn’t very reassuring.

- Up to the forty-third floor, Lady Smith intelligibly said; and the elevator began its ascension.

They get through the crimson clouds, their visions rapidly blinded. Way sooner than Nathan expected, they had arrived. He had thought that the floors were as smoky as the hall and the meeting room, but everything seemed very tangible, up here. Some Daemons were already back to work, leaned over computers and diverse files. Papers were flying all over the room, before to land carefully on one desk or another. Nathan opened his mouth delightedly. So many wonders ! Was that magic ? Or some sort of very advanced technology ? A tiny red cloud wandered between the furniture. From time to time, one of the demons patted it, and Nathan could have sworn the cloud wagged like a dog.

- This is an operations room. Ok so maybe I better tell you what we’re doing here, in Hell. That seems to be a good beginning. We kind of make sure that the world doesn’t fall in chaos. Here, that’s it, just that actually.

Why, a great cause, Nathan thought, and not too ambitious.

- How do you do that ? asked a grandma behind him.

- Very good question, rookie.

The grandma looked pleased to be called that way. Maybe it rejuvenated her. Lady Smith patted pensively his chin.

- It isn’t one with a quick and simple response, though. Um… We’re all divided into several units, you see. You’re all gonna be in Unit One, to start with, which is in charge of the prayers.

- I thought God and his angels were listening to the prayers ! cried out another grandma.

She was closed to the first one, her fingers around her wrist. Were they friend ? Had they died together ? Or maybe was it only some elderly support ? The Daemon froze. His eyes darkened.

- I’ll ask you not to say again the G-word, it is not polite to talk that way here.

His voice was a bit cold, very different from the soft and gentle one he used since the start.

- Our Lord’s Father isn’t one we like to name. Well, he isn’t one we like at all, in fact. Quite a jerk this one.

- Er… why ?

Nathan was curious too. All his life, he had heard that - did the rule of not pronounce the G-word was also relevant in their mind ? By precaution, he decided that it was. So, all his life, he had heard so much good about G-word, that he was incredible, and their Lord, and their creator, and everything. That he must be praised. That everyone should be careful in his life in order to accede to Heaven. Yeah, right. Instead all of that, Nathan had died without any big bad actions in his life, and he had woken up in Hell ; and G-word wasn’t at all praised.

When Lady Smith went on, Nathan started, violently kicked out of his thoughts.

- Our Lord’s Father created the Universe, right ?, and all the animals, humans included. But he got tired of it and abandoned his creation. Our Lord tried to convince him that it was too late, because humanity and, well, life in general were blooming, and that he couldn’t waste all that, but his Father got mad and threw him out of Heaven. Our Lord was furious and, by his desire for revenge, Hell was created. The first Daemons joined him in his will of giving humanity a better future, and now, well, here we are, doing a harsh job, and still, it’s our Lord’s Father and his minions that are worshipped.

He stared at the grandmas.

- No G-word down here, understood ?

They both nodded, looking like little girls.

- Good. Er, what were we talking about before this interruption ? Oh, yes, prayers. So yeah, angels and co don’t really care about that, so it’s the job of Unit One to listen to them, and to scrupulously take note of what’s saying. Those notes are transferred to Unit Two, which sorts them out by degree of importance and urgency. Then, they’re transferred again, to Unit Three. They search solutions to those issues, they write them down, then, again, all the file is sent to Unit Four, our Agents on the surface. Little of you will ever be one of them, they’re kind of an elite, you know, ‘cause you must know every subtle rule of the world, and even me, with my four century of dead attitude, I still don’t know every one of them. So don’t hope too much to join them.

Lady Smith had talked without pause, and he deeply breathed in, and out, and in again, to try to restore his usual respiration after this declamation.

- Everything must be done as fast as possible, because sometimes our Agents must intervene in a matter of seconds. Obviously, time doesn’t fly the same way here or up there, but still, rigor and rapidity are fundamental.

His eyes jumped from one new dead to another. Nathan was thoughtful, not sure to understand all that was said. Apparently, Lady Smith had decided that he did understand, since he turned on his heels to whistle once more for the elevator. This time, they went up to the sixty-eight flour, where none of the desks was used.

Lady Smith opened his arms.

- You’ll work here, six hours a day. The rest of your time is free, do what you want to do, no one will judge. I can say that we have a wonderful cinema, and an even more wonderful concert hall. Oh and Mister Haeborg is incredible, you won’t ever see yoga the same way you did once you try with him.

The Daemon stretched his arms and cracked his knuckles with a little sound of contentment. Opening his eyes, he stared at the group with surprise :

- Well, what are you waiting for ? Go on, off you go ! One dead by desk, please, it isn’t binomial work !

Nathan and his comrades scattered like a swarm of excited birds. A little cloud entered the room, this one more pink than red. Maybe a young one ? They seemed much more than vaporised water here indeed. Maybe were they like Hell’s pets. Sitting behind his brand new desk - he really could smell the fresh newly cut wood’s scent - Nathan offered his hand to the cloud, which approached him, looking curious - as far as one can tell about a cloud. It seemed to sniff at his finger and the sensation was strange to him, as if he had plunged his hand in warm water, but not quite either, because it wasn’t entirely tangible. Another odd experience, Nathan thought, while the cloud moved away to inspect some other dead.

- Ok rookies ! Now that you’re all with your own material, know that it will remain yours forever, so take good care of it. Er, what now ? Oh, yes. For the next week, you’ll work with tapes, not real humans, for you know approximately nothing about what to do. Be strict, though, our job is vital, especially now that our Lord is gone for Heaven.

Lady Smith sat down in a corner, a book mysteriously coming out of nowhere. His eyes looked up one more time.

- Off you go, no time to waste.

Nathan smiled, amused by the character, then leaned above his desk to catch the phone. The computer turned on, a neat and clear new page automatically displaying on the screen. Fantastic, Nathan marvelled.

Two tones latter, he began to take notes.

- Er, what can I pray for ? Crappy priest, if only he could be really dead and not just appearing so !

Um, ok, Nathan thought, good way to start.

Annotations

Versions

Ce chapitre compte 1 versions.

Vous aimez lire Jo March ?

Commentez et annotez ses textes en vous inscrivant à l'Atelier des auteurs !
Sur l'Atelier des auteurs, un auteur n'est jamais seul : vous pouvez suivre ses avancées, soutenir ses efforts et l'aider à progresser.

Inscription

En rejoignant l'Atelier des auteurs, vous acceptez nos Conditions Générales d'Utilisation.

Déjà membre de l'Atelier des auteurs ? Connexion

Inscrivez-vous pour profiter pleinement de l'Atelier des auteurs !
0